by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

(The Scene:  Halloween Night.  A residential street filled with lots of little trick-or-treaters and their parents.  Among them walk two big trick-or-treaters, MICHAEL ARRUDA & L.L. SOARES, who are not in costume.)

MICHAEL ARRUDA:  I just love Halloween.  It’s fun seeing all the trick-or-treaters.

L.L. SOARES:  I guess.  I’d rather be home answering the door, scaring all the trick-or-treaters.

MA:  No can do.  We’re going to a Halloween party this year.  Besides, you don’t have to be home to scare the little tykes.  You can do that right here on the street.

LS:  Good idea.  I might even get some of their candy.

MA:  You wouldn’t stoop that low, would you?  Stealing Halloween candy from trick-or-treaters?

LS:  Of course not!  But when they drop their bags onto the street as they flee in terror, I can’t just leave it on the ground.  That would be littering! (laughs).

(A group of trick-or-treaters approach.  LS growls at them, but they don’t run away.)

BOY DRESSED AS VAMPIRE:  Cool, mask, mister!

LS:  Mask?  I’m not wearing a mask!

GIRL DRESSED AS PRINCESS:  I like your ghoul mask.

LS:  I’m not wearing a mask!  This is my real face!

MA:  Scary, isn’t he?

LS:  Boo!

(Kids run away screaming.)

LS:  That’s more like it.  Although they didn’t leave any candy behind.

MA:  Let’s get to our first movie.  Up first this October is not a horror movie, but an actioner, the Liam Neeson sequel TAKEN 2 (2012) opening on October 5.  I’ve become a big Neeson fan of late, so I’m disappointed that I have to miss this one.

LS:  Yep, our very own John Harvey will be reviewing this one, since he’s our go-to-guy for action movies. I actually did see TAKEN, and I liked it, but I’m not all that eager to see the sequel, so I’m kind of relieved that John stepped in.

Our newest staff member, Sheri White, will be reviewing a movie this weekend, as well: Tim Burton’s FRANKENWEENIE.

MA:  I’m not disappointed I’m missing FRANKENWEENIE.

On October 12, we will be reviewing a horror movie, which is appropriate for the month of Halloween, and it’s also the first of three in a row, which is pretty cool, since it seems there haven’t been many horror movies on the big screen of late.  Anyway, on October 12 we’ll be seeing SINISTER (2012), a horror flick by the same people—specifically the same producers— who brought you INSIDIOUS (2010), a film I liked.

This one looks good too, although one problem I do have is the trailer is pretty extensive and it seems as if they give a lot of the plot away.  I’m not sure what’s left in terms of surprises.

It stars Ethan Hawke, who was decent in the vampire flick DAYBREAKERS (2009).

It’s written and directed by Scott Derrickson, who wrote and directed THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE (2005), an OK exorcism movie that was nothing to write home about.

LS:  Yeah, I have no idea what to expect with SINISTER. I’m not a big Ethan Hawke fan, but this one looks like it might have potential. I hope it’s at least as good as INSIDIOUS, which a lot of people really seemed to like.

Then on October 19, we’ll be reviewing PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4. I know it’s a sequel, but I always have fun at these movies. They’re well made for what they are—and the audiences are always very interactive, in a way that actually enhances your enjoyment of the movie. I’m definitely one of these people who hate it when people talk or make noise during a movie, but with the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY series, it’s all part of the experience.

MA:  I have to agree.  I’m looking forward to this one too, because the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY movies have definitely grown on me.  They’re scary, and seeing them in a packed theater with lots of people screaming and yelling out jokes to ease the tension is a lot of fun.

Originally, I didn’t enjoy them as much, since I didn’t feel their stories were all that great.  I still feel the same way, but I can’t deny that the experience of seeing them in a packed theater is a lot of fun.

LS: If you rent one of the PARANOMRAL ACTIVITY movies and watch it at home, there is no way you’re going to fully understand what’s so good about them. These movies are best experienced in a movie theater.

MA: And we finish the month with a review of SILENT HILL: REVELATIONS (2012).  It’s a sequel to SILENT HILL (2006), a film I didn’t like.  I saw it on DVD and really struggled to get through it.  I found it dull and confusing.
That being said, the trailer for this movie looks pretty good, so perhaps this will be a case where the sequel is better than the original.  We’ll see.

It’s written and directed by Michael J. Bassett, and he wasn’t involved in the previous movie, so the fact that it’s someone completely different at the helm this time bodes well for the production.

Our old friend Malcolm McDowell is in it, and hopefully he’ll be better here than he was in the Rob Zombie HALLOWEEN movies.  And it’s in 3D.  Nuff said about that!

LS:  I actually thought the first SILENT HILL was one of the better video game-based movies I’ve seen. Since that was made back in 2006, I figured it didn’t do very well and there wouldn’t be another one. It’s strange that it took them six years to make a sequel, but you’re right, it looks like it might be good. I’m looking forward to it.

MA:  So, that takes care of October.  At least we’ve got some horror movies to look forward to.  That’s something.  And none of them have the word “Saw” in the title.

LS:  I’m looking forward to the day when we can add the words RESIDENT EVIL to that list of franchises that decided to stop making movies.

MA:  Hey, we’ve reached the party.  Let’s put our masks on.

(MA & LS put on masks of SISKEL & EBERT.)

LS:  I refuse to say “Two thumbs up!”  Real men use knives!

MA:  I agree!  Well, at least this way people will recognize us as film critics!

(They enter the party.  Someone shouts, “Hey, look, it’s ABBOTT AND COSTELLO!”)



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