Archive for the Monster Babies Category


Posted in 2013, Demons, Devil Movies, Indie Horror, Intense Movies, LL Soares Reviews, Monster Babies, Nightmares, Rob Zombie Films, Strange Cinema, Witchcraft, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2013 by knifefighter

Movie Review by L.L. Soares


I’ve been a fan of Rob Zombie’s for quite a long time now. First his music, then his movies when he started directing, beginning with HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES (2003), which I liked a lot, and then THE DEVIL’S REJECTS (2005), which I pretty much loved. Then he made his two movies in the HALLOWEEN franchise (2007 and 2009), and while they had some good moments, they were disappointments over all. So I’ve been really itching to see him back to making low budget films based on his own characters. The HALLOWEEN stuff just wasn’t a good fit.

His new movie, THE LORDS OF SALEM, is a step in the right direction.

Gone is the studio oppression. And a lower budget means Rob can stay true to his vision. So just what is his vision for LORDS OF SALEM? Well, I better add a disclaimer. Not everyone is going to dig this movie. But I had a lot of fun with it.

It begins in 1692 Salem, Mass. with the coven of Margaret Morgan (an almost unrecognizable Meg Foster, who was also in John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE, 1988, and a lot more movies and TV series). Margaret is a genuine Satan-worshipping, baby killing monster of a witch. No Mother-Earth loving Wiccan is she. When she cuts open a pregnant woman, in order to sacrifice her child to Satan, Reverend Jonathan Hawthorne (Andrew Prine, star of lots of cool 70s flicks like SIMON, KING OF THE WITCHES, 1971) has her and her coven rounded up and executed for their crimes. But, of course, Margaret curses Hawthorne and his bloodline before she dies.

Skip to modern-day Salem, Mass., where the Reverend’s descendent, Heidi Hawthorne (Sheri Moon Zombie), is a recovering drug addict and a DJ at a local radio station, along with Herman Jackson (Ken Foree, who you’ve got to remember from Romero’s DAWN OF THE DEAD, 1978) and Whitey (Jeff Daniel Phillips, looking a lot like a stand-in for Rob Zombie, he was most recently in the above-average revenge movie FASTER, 2010). The three of them do a “morning zoo” type show during the late night hours, and things get weird when they get a visit from a death metal singer named Count Gorgann (Torsten Voges), who goes on a blasphemous rant about his philosophy of life. Things get even weirder when a mysterious vinyl record shows up for Heidi in an antique wooden box, addressed simply from “The Lords.” The music it plays has a very strange effect on Heidi and some of the women of Salem who hear it.

The-Lords-of-Salem-poster #2There’s also Heidi’s deceptively friendly landlady, Lacy (Judy Geeson, TO SIR WITH LOVE, 1967) and her “sisters” Sonny (Dee Wallace, whose resume includes such classic films as the original HILLS HAVE EYES, 1977, E.T. THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL, 1982, CUJO, 1983, and more recently in Chris Sivertson’s adaptation of Jack Ketchum’s THE LOST, 2006) and Megan (Patricia Quinn, Magenta herself from THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, 1975). These three ladies would fit in just fine in a production of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, if you know what I mean. They set Margaret Morgan’s curse into modern-day action.

The curse manifests itself in Room # 5 of the house where Heidi lives – an apartment long empty (and presumably un-rentable) that has now become some kind of portal into Hell, complete with a very strange-looking dwarf monster in a rubber suit at one point (the scenes with this dwarf demon are equally funny—because of the low-budget look of the monster —and weird, but actually work in a bizarre way). As Whitey slowly becomes aware of his true feelings for Heidi, he tries to save her. Also in heroic mode is Bruce Davison (WILLARD, 1971 and THE CRUCIBLE, 1996), as a writer and expert on historical witchcraft who is a guest on Heidi’s radio show, and figures out what is going on. But they’re up against some particularly formidable nasties.

There’s a scene towards the end that is pure Rob Zombie, a series of images that play out as a prolonged acid trip, and it’s stuff like this that makes THE LORDS OF SALEM so enjoyable. Yesterday, Michael Arruda and I reviewed the new Tom Cruise movie, OBLIVION, and opined that, despite the huge budget, the movie was kind of hollow because of a weak story, and a sanitized feel. THE LORDS OF SALEM is the exact opposite of something like OBLIVION. With a very low budget, Rob has to be more creative in putting his vision onscreen (thus that funny-looking demon) , and yet, because it is such a personal vision—and he has such a unique style—LORDS just seems more satisfying. Where OBLIVION is sterile and perfectly manicured, LORDS is dirty and depraved— coming at us warts-and-all—but that’s fine, because this is a horror movie after all.

There are parts of this movie that reminded me of Roman Polanski’s ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968, an inevitable comparison), and some of the flashbacks from the 1600s had a slightly BLACK SUNDAY (1960) feel to them; there’s also a bit of the insanity from something like Andzej Zulawksi’s 1981 film, POSSESSION (that crazy dwarf demon) and the films of Alejandro Jodorowksy. The acting is mostly right on, especially Sheri Moon Zombie, who is becoming quite an effective leading lady for this kind of thing. There are some scenes that have her doing very bizarre things, but she’s a trooper, and you truly care about her character (frankly, I wanted an even deeper look at her life before the curse kicks in). I found myself wishing that more directors would use her in their movies (although Mr. Zombie has been giving her some plum roles over the years, it’s not just because she’s his wife –  she has actually done a good job with them).

I would have had liked to see more of Ken Foree’s character (we only get a taste of what he can do as an actor here), and Jeff Daniel Phillips and Bruce Davison are good as the forces of good (I’m actually a big fan of Davison, and have been since the original WILLARD, and was happy to see him here, as well as the great Andrew Prine in what is, unfortunately, little more than a cameo). And the witches—well, they’re just terrific here, and probably the main reason to see the movie (aside from Sheri).

There’s also a very strong 70s feel to the movie, starting with the opening credits-on, which should come as no surprise to fans of his films. Zombie has been strongly influenced by the horror films of the 1970s, which is just fine with me. I consider the 70s to be one of the two main golden ages of cinema, the other being the 1930s. And, like some of the witch films from the 70s, there are some clichés of the genre here, but there’s also enough originality to keep things fresh.

THE LORDS OF SALEM is in limited release right now (only one theater in my area was showing it, so it’s not going to be easy for some people to find), but it deserves a wider audience. Also, before the movie was released, a book came out by Rob Zombie (with B.K. Evenson), which is a novelization of the film. Or rather, it is based on the first version of the script, before budgetary constraints forced Zombie to change a lot to save money. Reading the novel, which is presumably what he originally intended to do on film, it’s fun to compare this to what actually got made. I’m about 100 pages into the book, and already there are some interesting changes between his original concept and the finished film.

The novel version of THE LORDS OF SALEM is also available now.

The novel version of THE LORDS OF SALEM is also available now.

Since the HALLOWEEN films, I have been eager to see Rob Zombie go back to his roots and give us something that was truly his own. He really should try to avoid directing remakes of other people’s films. His style is just too idiosyncratic to be used to present other people’s ideas. Like a Jodorowsky or a David Lynch, his best work is that which originates with him.

As I said before, a lot of people might not enjoy this movie as much as I did. The attempts at characterization might be a little slow for some people, and Zombie’s style during the weird stuff might be too bizarre for them. But for me, everything kind of clicked, and I was really pulled into this film. I loved the feel of it, the strong sense of atmosphere, and the imagery here. I do not think it is Rob Zombie’s best work (that remains THE DEVIL’S REJECTS), but after two steps back, this is a big step forward toward getting him back on track in making the kinds of movies only he can make, and I hope he gives us many more films in the future.

Welcome back, Rob. I give this one three and a half knives.

© Copyright 2013 by L.L. Soares

LL Soares gives THE LORDS OF SALEM ~three and a half knives.


Meals for Monsters: THE DEVIL WITHIN HER (1975)

Posted in 2011, 70s Horror, Campy Movies, Demons, Evil Kids!, Jenny Orosel Columns, Just Plain Weird, Magic, Meals for Monsters, Monster Babies with tags , , , , , , , on November 22, 2011 by knifefighter

By Jenny Orosel

So here I sit, pregnant and about a week or so before I’m due to give birth. Sure enough, it puts me in the mood to watch some good baby horror. Something like ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968) would just be a little too scary, and IT’S ALIVE (1974), I’ve seen too many times. And then I discovered a wonderful gem: THE DEVIL WITHIN HER (1975).

Also known as I DON’T WANT TO BE BORN as well as SHARON’S BABY (which makes no sense to me, since there is no character named Sharon, let alone as mother to a baby), THE DEVIL WITHIN HER is a great British flick starring Joan Collins as a former stripper. One day she turned down the advances of her dwarf dance partner who then cursed her, saying her future offspring would be monsters. Fast forward about ten months and Collins’s Lucy is married to a wealthy Italian man, and giving birth to his son. First clue something is wrong—he’s twelve pounds at birth (making this a horror movie to any woman about to go into labor), and within hours he’s scratching away at his mother. Everyone can tell there is something not quite right with the baby—he has seizures when baptized, the people left alone with him have horrible, mysterious “accidents,” and he’s growing at an astronomical rate. Oh, and his face alternates between that of the baby and that of the dwarf. But in true British proper fashion, no one really freaks out, only politely discusses that something isn’t quite right with the boy. Luckily, Collins’ sister-in-law is a nun who knows how to perform exorcisms.

Lord, THE DEVIL WITHIN HER is goofy as can be. But it’s great silly fun and gives you a chance to laugh at pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood without getting yourself completely freaked out. So the meal for this monster is a combination of pregnancy foods and British foods, both of which fit well for this fun little flick.

I won’t be having a cocktail with this meal. Pregnant women are supposed to avoid alcohol and, while this movie may tempt them to have a drink or two, it would be mean to involve one here. Instead, we shall have an appetizer of deep fried pickles.



1 cup flour
3 eggs
1 cup corn meal
2 tablespoons salt
1 tablespoon black pepper
½ tablespoon cayenne pepper (or more to taste, if you like spicy)
Vegetable or canola oil
Pickle slices

Have three bowls ready. Put the flour in one, the three eggs, beaten, in the second, and the corn meal in the third. Stir the salt, pepper and cayenne into the corn meal. Fill a nice, deep pot about 1/3 full with the oil. Heat it to 360 degrees Fahrenheit. Dunk the pickle slices first in the flour, then the eggs, then the corn meal. Drop in the oil a few at a time for a minute or so, until a light golden brown. Place on a baking sheet with a cooling rack over it, or onto paper towels.


For the main course, I split it between the pregnancy angle and the British angle. It’s a Sheppard’s pie combined with the one thing I’ve had cravings for in the past nine months or so—tacos.



1 lb ground beef
1 small onion, chopped
1/3 bag frozen corn
1 cup taco sauce
Handful of tortilla chips
1 package instant mashed potatoes, plus whatever the package says to use. Or two cups leftover mashed potatoes.

Brown ground beef with onion. Salt and pepper to taste. Drain the fat and return to pan. Add corn and coat with taco sauce. Pour into square pan. Prepare mashed potatoes and top the meat mixture. If you’re preparing this ahead of time, you can cover at this point and put in the fridge. When it’s time to cook, crush the tortilla chips and sprinkle over the potatoes. Cook in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes if refrigerated, 30 if fresh.


We had pickles earlier, and what goes better with pickles than ice cream?  For dessert, I present:



1 bag English toffee chips
1 pint vanilla ice cream
1 pint chocolate ice cream

Soften the ice cream in the refrigerator for about an hour. Line a loaf pan with plastic wrap, so it’s easier to get the loaf out later. Spread half the bag of chips on the bottom of the pan. Top chips with the pint of vanilla ice cream, spreading evenly. Put the rest of the chips on top of the vanilla, then spread the chocolate over them. Freeze overnight. When it’s dessert time, cut into slices.


If feeding this meal to an actual pregnant woman, make sure to have Tums handy, as it can lead to a bit of heartburn (but tasty, tasty heartburn).

Yes, this movie is far from scary (other than the notion of giving birth to a 12 pound baby), and some of the scenes (especially when you see the tiny hands come out of the pram and push the nanny into the lake) are downright laughable. But sometimes you need some laughs with your horror……especially when the contractions start.

Excuse me….

© Copyright 2011 by Jenny Orosel